Dear Monster That Is Strangling My Tonsils, UNCLE.

So, I’ve been sick. With this odd yearly throat yuck that hurts like everything. Which is one thing. Worst thing is sitting still, trying to, and having to sit still. I can’t get sick. I have clients. Children. 

K got the same thing. K, being smarter than myself this time, went to urgent care. Doctor diagnosed his as thoat infection (he couldn’t really tell me-because he can barely talk) *he* has penicillin and serious-sounding mouth wash. He wants me to take some for relief and to help me finally get better. I refuse. Penicillin=weakness. hahaha. Actually, I’m feeling better (read slightly better than mother of gawwwwddd awful) and figure my immune system has gotten me this far. 

Luckily, girls remain unscathed. 

Agggghhhhh. 

You CAN Ignore Reality

But you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. Story of my life. I live in fear at the moment and it sucks. Fear is in my kitchen. I’ve always been ostrichy when it comes to money-I avoid looking at my bank account. Now? Since children, less time for clients, less money….its reached ridiculous heights. 

I don’t read email. I avoid answering the phone. Which is awesome, except I HAVE CLIENTS who pay me. My business has taken a hit-3 kids/3 years. plus the economy plus having to move my office. I am afraid of not having money to cover bills. I am afraid of my business failing. I am afraid of failing. Terrified.

I would figure out how to get my head out of the sand-were I not so afraid. 

Where Did All the Self-Esteem Go?

WorkingMom

So, before the years of reproducing (three children in 39 months) and becoming “mentally” healthy-I was a bad ass attorney. Since december 2007, I’ve been pregnant or nursing Now? I feel like a mousey, bad milk smelling, suv driving mom. Bad ass me drove a mini cooper, 6 speed, with a souped up engine. Wore […]

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Our Nanny is THE BEST & THE WORST

So, our nanny, we’ve nicknamed Disney, is very likely not real for two reasons-one, she is amazing with our kids-at all times-I’m pretty sure. I (and do everytime anyone is alone with my children) regularly place spying devices in random places. I mean, amazing. She is also taught me 60% of what I know about […]

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Even Though I’m Talking To Myself I’m Not Going To Talk To Myself

Though I’m relatively sure I have no readers-I am not going to just talk to myself. Bob Dole did that and it was bizarre. Bob Dole doesn’t like that said Bob Dole. See? Weird. For some reason I’ve started to want to write everyday. I’ve kept this up for some time, you know THREE days. […]

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That which Must Be Said.

Today, I do not, at all, in any way, like being an attorney. If I had to make a decision-this moment-if K hadn’t just taken a paycut-I’d close down my firm. Maybe be a photographer (not as fun as I suspect it might be). Maybe blog full time. (oh wait that doesn’t pay.) Hopefully tomorrow […]

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Life Is Great

E$

Blogging once a year probably isn’t the way to keep a blog. I”ve really worked on simplifying my life-and I can’t decide if closing this blog-would further that. Though I don’t blog much-I think about blogging-I write posts-or even think about what I would write. Which is cathartic in and of itself. But no one […]

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I only blog when I’m mentally unstable.

  Which is why I blog everyday. Ok, both aren’t true. But the last time I was mentally not going good-I blogged. At the moment I am in the same spot. By the way-I don’t have the energy/and or time to even edit this-please forgive me. I live in fear-that the paralyzing sadness because of […]

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Shit. (Scout’s New Vocabulary)

When she was mine.

So, Scout starts preschool in a couple of weeks. Right now-as far as I know-and I’m quite sure-she does not know any horrible words. Like hate, stupid, retard and ethnic slurs. Not even butt or booty. She doesn’t know what a gun is-of that I am sure-she thinks water guns are seahorses. She doesn’t know […]

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So, yeah I need a place.

A place to be grateful. To remind me of who I am. Away from my my clients and work. And cleaning, And marriage. And counseling. And a forever messy house. I was thinking how much I like Pinterest-for me. But I don’t use it-because its under my real name-and I have followers from my real […]

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