So, our nanny, we’ve nicknamed Disney, is very likely not real for two reasons-one, she is amazing with our kids-at all times-I’m pretty sure. I (and do everytime anyone is alone with my children) regularly place spying devices in random places. I mean, amazing. She is also taught me 60% of what I know about parenting. For instance, she made me wait a long year for Scout to potty train-without saying one negative/shaming thing EVER. Scout would sometimes use the potty sometimes not. For a year. When I already had one and then two in diapers. Thank goodness I listened to her-it made all the difference and shame isn’t really ever effective.
So, where’s the rub? She is a compulsive liar. About a lot of things. Nothing that has harm my children-or they can detect-yet. She is a reaaallllllllyyyyy bad liar to boot. She tells lies while she is talking (making things up as I she goes). She tells so many that she can’t remember the ones she’s told. As a prosecutor-this is where you bust out with “the truth is easy to remember-you never get the truth wrong….” in a closing argument. Which is true.
She mainly lies about why she is late 5/10 days. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she lived in Beirut. She lives 15 minutes away. I know, I’ve gone to her house during rush hour. Her drive to work is, allegedly, wrought with wrecks involving life flight(she’s told us that at least three times), tankers turned over, cars on fire that she just randomly ends up behind. Seriously, EVERY other day-somethings allegedly happening right in front of her! By the way-I’ve checked a LIVE traffic cam of exactly where she said something was happening-and, of course, it wasn’t.
She also lies about random other things-her son lost hearing after an ear infection for ONE day. A child once bit her arm so hard-she had to go to ER to have.his.jaw.removed.
But, like all moms, I’m so afraid of my children being hurt by a caretaker-that, for now, I’ll just have to hope that she and her car doesn’t get picked up in a tornado.